I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Randomize
