The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
