Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Randomize
