you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
Randomize
