what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
