I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
this is an emotional support booty call
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
Randomize
