We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
How external is "for external use only"?
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
Randomize
