What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
babies were throwing up all over the place
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
Is it because I queefed?
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
Randomize
