Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
Randomize
