Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
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