i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
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