Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
Randomize
