We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
Randomize
