Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
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