so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
Randomize
