We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
ALERT: Turns out when I'm drunk I turn into a clepto. I just found keys, a ketchup bottle, and sweatshirt in my backpack that don't belong to me. If yours, come collect from me. I'm still drunk in the back of biology lecture.
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
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