someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
Randomize
