idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Randomize
