"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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