I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Randomize
