READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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