the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
