well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
Randomize
