idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
Randomize
