And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Randomize
