he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
handjob tips. give me some.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
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