woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
Randomize
