You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
Randomize