I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
Randomize
