I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Randomize