dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
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