she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
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