Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
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