Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
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