Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
Randomize
