There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
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