he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
Holy sore nipples Batman
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
Randomize
