Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
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