I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Randomize
