when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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