Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
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