dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
17 year olds will be the death of me.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
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