This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
Randomize
