no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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