He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
Randomize
