coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
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