Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
