Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Randomize
