Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
Randomize
