I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
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