I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
Randomize
