We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
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