Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
