I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Randomize
