"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
SEEEEXXX PLEASE
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
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