We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
Randomize
