okay pat passed out under dana's car
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
So, my ex just showed me the drunk voicemail we left him last night. Started out with me saying "I think it's Shane." Then you took my phone and started singing a song about peanut butter, train tracks, and tequila. I joined in. On the upside, he said he's totally fine with being on the drunk dial list from now on. Soooo, another tequila night??
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
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