My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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