You made me cry and you don't even care
Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
Randomize
