Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
He literally asked permission to hit on me
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