you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
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