At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
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