just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
Randomize
