Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
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