There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
Randomize
