why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
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