I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
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