Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
Randomize
