The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
Randomize
