If you die in college, do you die in real life?
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
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