I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
Randomize
