in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
