Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
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