Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Randomize
